the jorbot

for men at least. for a ridiculously huge store, it boggles the mind that the men’s section is the size of my living room. there’s seriously some wasted space right in the middle of the place that they can fill up with more manly clothing. *sigh* i really need to move to cali or nyc. yes, for clothes.

under the thumb of the economy
i’ve been working for a good month and i still haven’t been able to show anything for it. material goods, i mean. i know the purpose of life is to not squander hard-earned money on trivial things, but i can’t even do that right now (ok, i bought $20 shoes, but c’mon. it’s $20!). it always seems there’s something that pops up. car problems, family problems, bills, groceries etc. those are more important than a sweet ass belt. but man… i can really go for a sweet ass belt.

hospitals creep me out
yet i go to one every two weeks. tomorrow is one of those days. i don’t like driving my aunt for her regular vein/tube replacements. not because i don’t like driving or using my day off. i don’t like the fact that while i stroll queen west, she’s in a lot of pain having tubes inserted into her arms and connected to an open vein.

it makes me tear up thinking about it. that’s why i go window shopping. to forget about it for a couple of hours. but i am quickly reminded when i go back and see the blood on her sleeves and the tired look on her face. she still greets me with a smile and we go for ice cream afterwards. she is strong. strong enough for the both of us.

my greatest fear is one day i’ll have to be strong enough for the both of us.